okays
so im back
today was a day discipling
yess a day of discipling
i guess ive come to a point where i really need God
i know i cant do it by my own strength
i think all along ive been doing it by my own strength
thats why ive come to a point where i really feel like giving up
it's not like i want to but i think i cant handle it anymore
thats why depending on God is so important
having a strong relationship with God is so important
i need the Holy Spirit
i dont know why but im back to this period of time where i feel emotionally *i dunno how to say
ya thats not my best
i dont deny it
everytime when i make a decision to make it happen
it's always in vain
and this is not the first time
it's always like that..

and i really cant stand some pple who likes to say bout others
and thinks that she's so perfect or something
like she can do it but i cant
she can say about others but when others say bout her she starts to give all sorts of excuses to defend herself
being so paranoid over small little things
everything also got to go your way
im just feeling so arghhh now

i think im just so lousy in making things happen
super lousy lahhh

God pls use whatever i have to make it count for You!
i want to get out of this season soon!

all in all, i thank God for allowing me to go through this period of moulding...
it's not easy
surely it takes hard work and effort.
strengthen me Lord!